Happiness in Marriage for a woman is to be loved by her husband. For man, is to be admired.
Every man has the desire for admiration for his skills, ideas and dreams. This admiration gives him the greatest happiness, and lack of it causes his greatest afflictions. Although the admiration is essential for men, it is not in their own reach. Only people who respect and love him can provide the admiration he needs. A man likes to receive admiration from many sources, but the most essential and indispensable should come for the woman he loves.
Let’s see how this need is evident in all stages of life in men:
THE LITTLE BOY
This need is also evident in the young child, and it is essential to possess confidence and reach maturity. Kids who receive the admiration of his parents feel love for them. Unfortunately, there are many children whose parents do not give them enough admiration. When children become adults and mature, they need more admiration than ever, because the lack of it in their youth age caused a loss of self-esteem. If the woman who they married with offers the necessary admiration, the problem is solved, if not, they often turn into loners.
THE YOUNG MARRIED MAN
It is particularly apparent how much a young husband who begins his career needs to receive admiration. He hopes to achieve an overwhelming success; no project or dream is too crazy to reach. This man is full of plans and proposals, certainty and enthusiasm. He finds one hundred errors in the way older people do things and when given the opportunity, will make revolutionary changes. Meanwhile, he will need to find someone to tell all his thoughts of how things will be when his opportunity comes.
Most of his young associates are too busy with their own aspirations to listen to him. The older people only scoff. Where can he find a listener and confidant who do not criticize him? His soul demands admiration, and the woman who gives it to him will be his angel.
THE OLDER MAN
At maturity age, if a man has not received admiration, he often learns how to live without it. Apparently he hardens, becomes incredulous and less sensitive to the lack of admiration. However, the more mature, more bitterly resent his woman’s indifference towards the noblest elements of his character. He will repress his earnest desire to be admired because he thinks he cannot achieve it, but his desire is strong and persistent as in the younger man.
WHAT DOES HE WANT YOU TO ADMIRE?
What your man wants you to admire more than anything in the world, are his masculine qualities. If you admire qualities that are common in you and him, he will be disappointed. For example, if he helps with the dishes, if he is kind, gentle, orderly, and has good taste, these virtues are worthy of some admiration, but this is not the kind of admiration that he needs. His masculinity is what he wants you to notice and admire.
1. His superior strength.
2. His mannish value.
3. His sense of honor and duty in male subjects.
4. His leadership qualities.
5. His sexual ability.
6. His determination and power.
7. His loyalty to a cause.
8. His mental capacity or intelligence.
9. His constancy and firmness.
10. His clever tactics in the male world.
11. His exploits, successes and achievements.
12. His decisive skills and his judgments and decisions.
13. The nobility of his ideals, norms and aspirations.
Those are the virtues that he longs to possess, (the goal of his masculinity) having those virtues will make him feel “alive”; and the women who help him achieve them awaken his deepest feelings.
In my next post, I will include information about the most common masculine characteristics, how to listen your husband when he needs admiration the most and how to find admiration on him even when it’s difficult to see it.
Source: “Fascinating womanhood” by Helen Andelin