Follow the next rule and you can learn how to be a good listener for your husband:
Do not listen to the words only, but also the man who says them.
Notice what is in the matter, how he thoroughly knows all the intricate details, notice when he boasts himself about his skills and knowledge, notice the way he develops his ideas and how loyal and devoted he is to them. What real man he can be when you give him the value and appreciation that he needs!!
If you cannot understand everything he says, look for other characteristics that are admirable; he will reveal them through his words. Actually, if you just pay attention to what he says and not him, you will be very disappointed. You can be sure that he is not talking only to inform you about the matter, but to be admired as a man.
It is not necessary that a woman is well educated or possess great intelligence to follow the conversation of a clever man. The pleasure he feels knowing he is being admired is bigger than knowing he is being understood or not. Even when he knows that a woman does not fully understand what he is saying, he does not care, as evidenced by these lines of Maeterlinck:
What do I care that she seems not to understand?
You think it’s a sublime word what I desire?
When I feel the presence of a soul close to mine?
If you learn to be a good listener, if the topic is boring or interesting, it makes no difference. He can talk about the world economy, the atomic bomb, or the intrinsic details of his business, and you would be able to maintain their interest. Actually, you can be sure that if he deliberately speaks of things you cannot understand, he is trying to win your admiration. The following story will show you the proper way to listen:
John is a man who wants to receive admiration, as the world gives him very little. He has gained great success in business circles, he is an intellectual, he has great political ideas, but nobody is interested in them or tries to know them. In fact, many have suggested that he has been just lucky to be successful. But at home, there is a different story. His wife does not know much about politics, but she admires him. As they have a few minutes alone, she takes the conversation to the subject of politics. She encourages him to talk and she listens. If you look carefully to her, you will see that she is not paying much attention to what he is saying, but she finds much to admire. What does she admire? Not his appearance, he is certainly an ordinary man, nor his vocabulary, her is equally as extensive, nor his ideas.
She sees his loyalty, courage and idealism. Here is a man who heart is loyal to his ideals, which she considers fair. If she agrees or disagrees does not matter, as long as she admires not only his words and ideas, but also his masculinity. The fervent enthusiasm that irritates others who disagree with his opinion, she sees it as an expression of his determination and idealism.
As long as he expresses his excitement and he deploys his admirable personality, she does not need more.
Are listening right!???
Source: “Fascinating womanhood” by Helen Andelin