The Spiritual and Human side in women it’s a very wide topic. The reason it’s because each side has its own characteristics.
A couple of days ago, I was talking about the definition of being Spiritual and Human; the combination of those characteristics, will bring “The perfect woman”.
According to Helen Andelin, if you combine both qualities into one, men will love, protect and shelter you as a woman.
Here is a diagram of the ideal woman:
This diagram includes the essential qualities that make a woman attractive and charming in the eyes of men. Although this ideal woman is split, you should always think of it as a whole: the Angelic and Human side together. Both together make the ideal woman.
Let’s see in more detail each side:
- She understand men
- Inner happiness
- Wonderful personality (Good and pleasant temperament)
- Good housewives
Let’s see the definitions provided previously:
1. Good and pleasant temperament. This attribute is related to have a holy influence. They are women who despite the circumstances, are not bitter or vindictive, are usually very devoted to their father and sacrifice their own desires in favor of him.
2. They understand men. They offer true understanding. They know how to celebrate his triumphs and console him in his difficulties. They provide comfort and peace.
3. They are good housewives.
4. They have inner happiness. They have a noble character, radiate peace and purity of spirit. These indicate the existence of inner happiness
The Angelical side, brings in men a depth feeling of adoration to this kind of woman, she brings him peace and happiness. The Angelical side, it’s what a woman is, and it’s related with her personality, her spiritual qualities and her character.
Helen Andelin, affirms that any man will not love completely a woman, who does not have something angelical. A woman who is less angelical will fascinate him or attract him, but he’ll never feel love in the higher plenitude; the celestial love.
Although, the four qualities are separated, all of them make one, because all are spiritual.
- Radiates happiness
- Fresh look
- Childlike candor
Man wants to have an angel, but also wants a woman who’s human. He’s human; therefore, there are some qualities that will bring admiration for her.
The human side of a woman it’s what she does, includes her appearance, her manners, her actions, her juvenile character, her dependence to men, her fragility and femininity; also her fresh look and child manners.
Just add a healthy look, a touch of genius and audacity behavior and a basic attitude of trust and affection. Then, you’ll begin to build a completely lovely human being, which must win the heart of man.
Human qualities fascinate men. Captivate them and amuse and arouse in them a tender feeling, the desire to protect and shelter a woman. Also it takes them to do things that seem silly.
Human qualities in some cases make an intelligent man to marry a girl with fewer qualities, perhaps a “silly doll” whom he finds irresistible. One would expect a man choose a woman as most suitable companion for him, but human attraction can make love blind.
Human qualities have a great attraction in men, and we can say that they have more power on average than the Angelic side. However, are not difficult to acquire or are foreign to their nature, they are actually part of the natural instincts of women.
As I said before, this topic is wide. Therefore, will cover several post. For now, let’s go ahead and talk about the first ANGELICAL characteristic:
Men want women to understand them, but in turn, they are not easy to understand, they are totally different from women. Both differ in nature and temperament.
Men do not think like us, do not face a problem in the same way, nor have the same values and needs as our own. Even those needs may be similar in men and women differ in their insane high primordial value. For example: Love is essential for both, be admired as well. But being loved is more important for women while receiving admiration is an essential need for man. Because we do not understand these differences, often suffer setbacks in our mutual relations.
Men want a woman who advises and support, they want to receive peace and happiness. They want a wife who offers shelter and friendship. They want a counselor, they want a helper.
If we will try to get a better understanding of men, we must know something about them. No speaker can gain the interest of an unknown audience. I would not know where to start. Nor a publicist would know how to write an advertisement unless he knew something about the people who will consume the product. It’s always better, to know your audience (their peculiarities, their ambitions, their prejudices, their opinions and their weaknesses). Those who know their audience will be able to do and say whatever is most effective.
The same consists in the woman. The more she understands the characteristics of man (their peculiarities, their needs and vulnerabilities) more easily will do and say the things that please him.
The first thing to do, it’s to accept him for his Nominal Value. (Again this definition, do you remember it?) If you want to win the heart of a man, you need to be able to accept him the way that he is, and DO NOT try to change him. See the post about this topic here.
There is ONLY one way to make a man change: Giving him freedom.
This method may not be 100% effective, but is the only way to make a man matures. It is the only effective plan, and the only path to happiness. It is also like saying the only fertile land where love can flourish. Free will is one of the most fundamental rights there. Humanity does not develop or is happy without freedom. “But,” you say, “in my efforts to switch to my husband I was not depriving his liberty, they I never insist on anything or use any force.” It is not through force or coercion, but much more subtly, as we interfere.
How do we remove the freedom of a man?
- Using moral force
- Pushing, sermons
- Open criticism
Every man wants to live in peace and receive approval. When you use your influence moral force or force him to choose between his freedom and “peace at home.” Sometimes he chooses peace, sacrificing his freedom. For example, look this example: a young couple planned a day at the beach. When they left, the girl asked the husband, “You’re going to put the sunglasses?” He said he left them at home on purpose by not bothering. She tried to insist, but he did not budge. When they were in the car, the front door opened, and the man is looking for his glasses. He says, “Anything, in order to maintain peace!”
There are times when a man gives up his precious freedom temporarily because the wife insists that he does not have much choice. But not always sacrifice freedom for peace. Many times he will cling to this freedom at all costs. Look this other example: Every Sunday morning, a young wife, asks her husband: “You plan to go to church today?” Although he wanted to please her, this subtle suggestion irritated him so much, preferring to stay home just to maintain his freedom. He had nothing against the church, but if he wanted it to be on their own initiative. As she stopped implying, he would start going more often.
There are some women who have been taught to be “promoters” of their husbands, and try to push them towards the path of righteousness. The true meaning of the word “promote” is to incite, encourage or stimulate. No pinching or pushing.
Why do we try to change our husbands? Because we women have an attitude of self-righteous or sanctimonious, we think we work harder than anyone to act appropriately and make our marriage work. The woman is not in a position to judge the value of a man (not even a man, judging a woman!) The best doctrine is: we are the ones that we try to change.
Will he change?
You may wonder, “If I accept him as he is, is there any hope that he makes the effort to change?” Who can say? You must accept the fact that he might not. But mysteriously, men are more willing to change when they are accepted as they are and allowed their freedom.
The only hope is that you (as his wife) do not try to change him. Other people may try to change him, teach him or offer suggestions, but the woman he loves, you must accept him as he is.
If men are going to change, they want to do it by their own efforts. If you go to church, he want to go only if that his own idea. If you make improvements to his character, his health or business, he wants to be the one with the initiative. When a man has enough freedom to improve, he tends to improve. Trying to change a man, just does not work.
When you accept a man for his Nominal Value, you can stop worrying about his faults. This is easier if you look the better side of him and concentrates on it.
What about if he does something that it’s dishonest? What about if he abuses you? We’ll cover all those questions tomorrow. Please if you have any comments, use the box below. I’d love to know what you think.
Source: “Fascinating womanhood” by Helen Andelin