We’re still talking about how to accept the idea of not trying to change a man. Especially in difficult situations and when he’s not able to cooperate.
WHEN HE DOES SOMETHING WRONG
If sometimes, your husband is dishonest, rough, weak, or lacking in character, that will make you wonder how to react. You accept him as he is, but if you ignore a wrong attitude you’re showing a lack of your own character.
The action to take is to be reluctant to believe it. Tell him you cannot believe that a man like him had done such a thing. If you must believe and accept what he did, tell him that you know this action is contrary to his nature, and was only the result of carelessness or recklessness on his part. You must show immensely disappointed by this time span, but your faith in his better side of it, must prevail.
WHEN HE’S AN ABUSER
Should you accept a man when he’s an abuser, and ignore the fact?
I refer to the times when he is inconsiderate, unjust, extremely hard, critical, abuses or ignores you. The man is entitled to many freedoms, but they do not include mistreating his wife.
You are a human being worthy of respect and consideration, and it is important for both to maintain their dignity and self-respect intact. In fact, it is difficult for a man to show kindness or condescending to a woman he can abuse.
One of the greatest rewards that women derive by implementing the principles in this blog is to receive the consideration and respect for her husband. However, there is no reason to expect to reach this goal to demand respect and good treatment. One of the most fascinating arts that you must learn to be “The Lovely Woman” is how to handle these difficult situations.
KEEP INTACT YOUR OWN IDEALS
It could be a time when you wonder whether to accepting a man means that you have to lower your own standards of conduct for leveling them whit his, and thus show acceptance. The answer is no. He does not respect you for it. Men like to think that women are better, more noble and holy that him, therefore he’ll be disappointed to see her falling from his pedestal and stoop to his level. You owe itself to the success of your angelic side, maintaining a pattern or standard of conduct as good as possible.
It will be also times when you come and ask: “Is there some point in life when one must try to change her husband?” No! He must always be accepted at his nominal value. However, there is an opportunity (which I mentioned briefly before), which you should try to open the eyes of their own faults, but only in certain situations.
WHEN A MAN IS BLIND TO HIS OWN ERRORS
Often a man is blind to his own mistakes, and that blindness causes difficulty or loss associated with their success in their work. On these occasions the wife should open his eyes.
For example the vendor that uses the wrong approach, the supervisor of a department that acts as a dictator to his employees, the doctor who is losing patients because appears to be unfriendly, etc.
In these cases the wife should alert him. He will not suffer if she does in due form. Many times other people watching the mistakes, are not interested enough to identify them, or often they think they should not interfere. The wife may be the only who wants it enough to help.
The Right Approach: Remember that you accept him. There are the others who do not! Others are offended, not you. Say you have a few ideas that may help. Let him know that you are not so steeped in the situation as he therefore could be wrong, but “it could be causing your problem?” Reassure him that you admire him, and it’s a shame that others do not appreciate in all his value.
Once opened his eyes, do not push the issue. Leave it completely. If he continues to act wrongly knowingly let this freedom. Before speaking, make sure he completely ignores their mistakes and also that they are causing difficulties.
When you go to present your views to your husband or to propose amendments, is feminine. No apparent issues to know more about him than you, not in maternal way, and do not talk like man to man.
Acceptance it’s important, and if we try to change our husbands will be doomed to failure, will bring marital problems, and may even cause rebellion. It’s difficult but not impossible, for a man who love a woman, correct, or try to change himself. We know that we are not in a position to judge the worth of a man, but we tend to do it because of our self-righteous attitudes.
It is we who must change, not our husbands. We must look to the better side of him forever. And if you want to be like the “Angelical-Human” woman and win his love in heaven, we must accept his nominal value.
Some women will say that’s difficult to accept a man at his nominal value, therefore no longer try. It is conceded that acceptance is not easy to give but one of the principles upon many sucessful marriages.
Source: “Fascinating womanhood” by Helen Andelin