SECRET NUMBER FOUR: Allow him to lead.

Your husband’s God-given role is to lead you and provide for you. Allow him to do it.

 “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you”


The more we woman take over a man’s role, the less masculine he feels. And the more masculine we become. To find contentment and satisfaction in our lives, we need to live our God-given roles.

Most men are, by their masculine nature, born leaders. They tend to be decisive, and have logical, able minds. They are also competitive, muscular, and have a strong desire to excel. Nor are they afraid of spiders, or the dark, or strange noises at night. But we women are different. We tend to be intuitive, and nurturing, and need security. We often hesitate, and change our minds when it comes to decision-making. Also we have a strong need to be loved and protected. And men like us this way. It makes them feel protective. Men love to protect a woman. When we make our man feel protective, it arouses his tender feelings. Just as tender feelings are aroused in us, when we feel protective towards a small child.


And when we feel protected by a man, it awakes in us gentleness and femininity. Marriage is a partnership, but it is a complementary partnership. Husband and wife have different roles. The husband leads, provides and protects his wife and children.
His wife helps him, gives him cheerful companionship, consoles him and admires him. She is mother to his children, and ensures that his home is a peaceful haven for him to come home to and recover. When we fulfill our role well, our husband will love us and cherish us. He just can’t help doing so. That’s the way God made him.
We and our husbands are two different halves of one complete whole. Put us together, add love, and we become a beautiful, complete, well rounded personality, much stronger than our two separate halves.


 All organizations need a leader. A ship needs a captain. There needs to be a single person to make final decisions in important matters. A ship cannot have two captains. The family is no exception. As we read earlier, God has placed upon the husband, this right to finalize important family decisions. But only after consulting first with his wife, and if need be, with his children.

The man is the head or the ship’s captain of the family so to speak. We women are his first mate and the heart of the family.
We just need to be humble, and willing to trust our husbands’ decisions. We must be prepared to risk our security, our comfort, and our money if need be. We have to give him the reins and trust him to learn. In the long run it will be for the best. Remember, God has placed him at the head.


 Of course, most of the time we are happy to let our husbands lead us. But there are times when want things our own way. Women use all kinds of pressure on their husbands to influence them. But remember Secret Number One, ‘Accept him.’ Even when we feel he is wrong, we must give him the ball and let him run with it.

Are you giving your husbands the leadership in your marriage? How do you do it?

Source: “Fascinating womanhood” by Helen Andelin