SECRET NUMBER NINE: Just ask with a smile.

This secret is so simple. Getting your husband to say yes is easy when you know how. But most women don’t know how. They ask the wrong way and get turned down most of the time. And they often irritate their husbands at the same time.

When we were young girls, did we have any difficulty getting what we needed from our fathers? How does a young girl get what she wants from her father? It’s simple. She just asks him, with a smile; just a simple request. No reasons. Just “Daddy will you please? Or “Daddy can I please? No hinting. No explaining. No justifying. No arguing the point. Just a simple ask, with a smile and a please. And maybe a touch.

The way a young girl asks, shows that she respects her father’s authority. She allows her father to enjoy his manly role as leader and provider. He just can’t help but want to please her.

Exactly the same approach works for us with our husband. Why? Because when we ask submissively, we place him in his proper role of leadership. We make him feel masculine and strong.

Therefore our husband will want to do what we ask of him, if he’s able to do so. And he will enjoy doing it for us, especially the satisfying feeling he gets from pleasing us. A man will go to great lengths to satisfy the desires of the woman he loves. The more submissive and dependent on him she is, the greater will be his desire to please her.This is only true when our husband is completely free of resentment toward you. Many women actually arouse resentment in the ways they ask their husband for things.

How do most women ask for things from their husbands?

A woman usually starts off by hinting for what she wants. Then she’ll make suggestions. Then if that doesn’t work, and she still doesn’t get what she wants, she’ll start demanding and arguing. And nagging, until hopefully he gives in to what she wants, just to get some peace.

What about suggesting? Yes, that can work sometimes. If your husband is in a good mood and what you want will benefit him too.

What about demanding? No. That really stirs up resentment in a man.
And arguing? Highly ineffective; it even encourages his opposition. Most men can shoot down any number of logical reasons we put forward. Men are very good at that.

But what a huge contrast when we ask with a smile and a please, and a melodious voice. There’s no need to explain why we need what we’re asking for. It’s enough for most men that it’s our wish.

When you ask this way, you’ll usually obtain an immediate favorable response. And you’ll also feel the warmth of his love for you. Why is this so? It’s because of a noble quality that God has placed in the hearts of men:

“A man loves a woman more, when he can do things to please her, and when he can sacrifice for her.”


There ARE a few things we shouldn’t ask for. There are some things that should come freely from a man’s heart. Things like love, and tenderness, and most gifts. Or to be taken out somewhere.

These things are only of real value when given from our husband’s heart, without us  asking.

How to show feminine appreciation?

This is so important. Whenever your husband has done something for you, or given you a gift, you must show your appreciation to him in a feminine way. How do we do this? How do young girls show their appreciation to their fathers?

Well when a little girl gets a present from her Daddy, she gets excited. She jumps up and down. Her eyes sparkle. Sometimes she claps her hands. Then she gives him a big hug and a kiss.

Men love grown women to be exuberant too. Just like young girls. They find it fascinating and delightful. They just love us to get excited over the things they do for us. It’s very feminine in their eyes. When we behave this way, they enjoy pampering us and spoiling us. Our joy and our pleasure is their reward. A formal “Thank you.” Or worse, “That’s too expensive” won’t encourage our husband to be generous. But your childlike joy, or even tears of joy, will gladden and thrill his heart. You will make him feel manly and protective. I know many women are serious, or reserved by nature, but we can still awaken the child deep within us. Even the most serious children can show exuberance, smiles and spontaneity.

Are you asking with a smile? 

Source: “Fascinating womanhood” by Helen Andelin